I’m new at this, but I still can’t believe I did that. I’ll never be able to un-suck that dick. But I sure wish I could.
Did you know that cocaine is only white? I thought it came in different flavors. And I thought it came in little straws with writing on them. God dammit, why didn’t I read the fine print?
Has anyone else ever confused Pixy Stix for coke? If so, I would really appreciate some moral support, because I’m seriously thinking about killing myself.
I KNEW I should have done more research before I decided to start doing coke. How come there isn’t a “Freebasing for Dummies” or “The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Not Sucking a Dick For Children’s Candy” book? I really could have used something like that two hours ago.
Does this mean I’m gay? Oh shit. There’s no turning back now, is there?
Why couldn’t I just be happy with my life? I’m in middle management at a toothpaste manufacturing plant, I get into decent clubs and have had my share of women. I just thought drugs would be the icing on the cake. Now I’ll never be able to eat eclairs again.
Does anybody else smell bleach?
Maybe there’s a lesson here. If I figure out what it is, I’ll let you guys know.